♪ Adidas Sneakers by Jeremy Scott
♪ Be more Christ-like
♪ Be multi-lingual; master Chinese, Japanese, Korean, German and French
♪ Black Doc Martens' Boots
♪ Canon EOS 60D with 60mm Macro USM lens, 10-22mm USM wide-angle lens and EF-S 18-200mm lens
♪ Get married to the right man
♪ Hoodies
♪ Kittykats
♪ Louis Vuitton Damier Graphite Canvas Brazza Wallet
♪ Ombre hair
I really thought I was done crying. I though I'd just miss him occasionally but or some reason I cried when I woke up today. Maybe it's because I dreamt of him. Maybe it's because I missed him so much.
Night. Things are getting complicated, and once again I couldn't control myself and cried. I guess the only good thing that came out of it is that it made me sleepy. Who knew break-ups were so messy?
I just want to be happy. I'm envious when I see happy singles, happy couples, and generally happy people. It's like, my only source of long-term happiness comes from him and I know it's not supposed to be like that, but spending time with my family and friends just gives me happiness for a while, and then I think about him and it's back to square one. Guess I have to be unhappy for another 2 more months before I finally have it all together again. What do I want right now? It's basically all about him. For him to call me endearing terms again, for him to even think about me, for him to prioritize me again, for him to hug & kiss me, for him to cuddle with me, for him to be happy with me. I know I sound a little selfish, but I always want to be the one to make him happy but for some reason it always backfires. And I'm not really looking forward to my birthday, because I know I won't be able to celebrate it with him as boyfriend/girlfriend, or with him as friends even.
Okay I sound like a fool in love, but that's what we all are... right?
.. Is there a pill to make you go to sleep for 2 months? I really need that. Or happy pills. I just need something.
Looked at your twitter and saw that the iPad 2 has arrived.. If we were all good you would have texted me straight away and I'd be the first to know, but now I'm not. It's quite sad and strange to see that I'm now no longer the first. Said this a lot, but I still wish everything was back to the way it was.
I decided to deactivate my facebook account and my twitter account. I could really use a break. I'm tired. Not going to resist anything you say or do anymore.
met today, unexpectedly. Things were so awkward, we pretended either didn't exist. No hellos, no goodbyes. I wanted so bad for you to come and talk to me, tell me the break is over, tell me everything is okay and the distance between us will no longer be there. You didn't. I didn't expect you to, anyway. I just really hoped you would, but once again expectation led to disappointment. If I could do anything, I honestly would. But you were the one to put the distance between us. I can't do anything but wait for you to come back.
I don't know how to say, or even what I want to say... It's been a hard time; I can't deceive anyone any longer. I don't know how my life will be after this year; so I'm just living one day at a time.
Would it have been better if I was the one who was gone?
I'm glad I have some awesome friends, but sometimes it's just hard to even say anything.
... Switched off my phone for the first time in weeks. I want someone to be there for me when I'm down, but I don't want anyone to ask me why I am... Because I don't know why.
it's nice to be alone sometimes. but it gets me thinking.
... Is it really that nice to be alone?
I'm not lonely. Nope, I'm not.
.. Who am I kidding?
Just wanted to tell you that you were the only one who talked to me on MSN throughout secondary school. I'm not as popular as you think; not as strong as you think; and not as happy as you think. I thought you'd know it after so many years, but I was wrong.
It's all about you, my Butterfly Every time I come close to you (every time I'm kissing you) Feel like I'm gonna dream every time ( I get butterly)
Unintentionally, I look the sky like It looks similar to when you smile Specifically your dazzling [smile] baby My day consists of our romantic drama Make me cry and smile no no no
I can't sleep, I call your name I turn my head shyly (no matter what) I like it this much I rarely stop walking
Every time I come close to you (every time I'm kissing you) Feel like I'm gonna dream every time ( I get butterly)
Beautiful girl
Unintentionally, I look at the ground like I flutter so much at your 3 lettered name baby I'll heal your one small wounds My love is you
Like a butterfly You look for a flower, flutter around like a child Your innocent eyes have a smile Your body moves like the sky, the sky Your eyes glimmer, glimmer I've become like this (You're the only one girl)
Every time I come close to you (every time I'm kissing you) Feel like I'm gonna dream every time ( I get butterly)
I'll promise the things I promise We missed each other, and it makes me worry Just to know the game it's all the same What, it's this confusing Though you can't trust guys Love can be forever Why do you push and pull Can't act any more honest
Look at my eyes You see my eyes You see my lips Listen to my heart If you're listening answer me Kiss me on the cheek My memories Yes my heart Yes that be all I say If our lovingness continues a lot Then we'll never break up, trust me I'll make love to you
Every time I come close to you (every time I'm kissing you) Feel like I'm gonna dream every time ( I get butterly)
Ye you're special to me Your turn La la la la la la la Yeah my butterfly
Would you be happy for your best friends if your spouse had recently passed away; and they tell you that they are getting married and expecting a baby?
Enough. I don't want to continue on like this. I'm going to try and let go, the love that lasted 4 years. I'm going to try and move on. Because you have already forgotten about me.
